In life it seems that most of us want to take ourselves up another step; take our success to the next level and “upgrade” ourselves and our lives. The areas you may want to upgrade can be related to your trading, your career, your income, your relationships, or even your health.
Many of us will spend time and money in order to get to that next level yet find that when they return from seminars or having read a book, they return to the previous level. Ever wondered why?
I’ve learned the quickest and most effective way to upgrade yourself from two of my friends, Jack Canfield and Jeff Walker.
Are you ready to learn the quickest way to upgrade yourself?
It’s who you hang out with.
I really don’t know which came first, this rule of thumb or …
Try this, take the average income of your 5 closest friends (or 5 people you hang around the most). That average income will most likely equal your income.
You can do the same for physical fitness, relationships, and trading. Take the average performance in these areas of the 5 people you hang around the most and you will have the average level of the 5 people you associate with.
We become who we hang around.
Since we are such social creatures we think and act like those around us; much like a tuning fork. You can tap a tuning fork and bring it near another tuning fork and the new tuning fork will begin to vibrate in harmony.
So the quickest way to upgrade yourself is to upgrade who you hang around.
Hold on here. I am not saying you need to abandon childhood or dear friends if they are not at a level you want to be. Keep those friends, but go and find new friends, new associations that will lift you up.
Let me share a great story I found in the Want it Done Right journal (www.wantitdoneright.com) that perhaps explains why this happens.
A farmer was out in his field one day and found an egg. The egg looked different from any normal egg he’d seen in his life. Being fascinated by the egg, he took it to a friend nearby who owned a turkey ranch to see if his turkeys could possibly hatch it.
They put the egg in the hen house with the rest of the turkey eggs. Sure enough, a turkey sat on the egg and incubated it. Finally, the special egg hatched along with all the others. The bird that hatched turned out to be an eagle. But because the eagle hatched with turkeys, and he didn’t have a mirror to see what he looked like, he thought he was a turkey too.
He was a pretty smart turkey. He noticed that as his friends got bigger and fatter, they left and never returned. This happened every year around Thanksgiving and Christmas. So, as he noticed this, he decided he wasn’t going to let himself get big and fat; he was going to stay trim and in shape.
One day, as he was working out, he happened to be looking up in the air. He saw this big beautiful bird flying in the wind. “Mother! Mother! I want to fly like that bird!” She said “Oh, Son, that’s an eagle. That’s what eagles do. You’re a turkey. Turkeys don’t fly.”
The young eagle was content to believe his mother’s word – that he was a turkey just like all the rest of her children.
When he was older, he was out in the turkey yard exercising and stretching his wings, and he started to come off the ground. The turkeys yelled out: “Wait! What are you doing? You can’t do that! You’re just creating dust! Knock it off! You can’t fly!”
So he tucked in his wings and acted like the rest of the turkeys. As time went by, the little eagle grew up to be a mature eagle. He never left the turkey ranch and he never flew. He grew old and died believing he was a turkey.
The moral to this story is:
If you live with turkeys, listen to turkeys,
and allow them to convince you that you’re a turkey,
all you’ll ever be is a turkey.
We are all really eagles, but we may spend too much of our time listening to, and associating with, turkeys.
I don’t mean to be controversial here by saying your friendships and associations are turkeys but, some friends and associations are not what you might consider uplifting or, pushing you towards your dreams and goals.
It always amazes me when people are trying to improve their relationships but hang out with recently divorced individuals. They inevitably end up divorced too. There are traders complaining about their trades, while spending time on blogs or discussion boards bashing a successful trader or educator, who don’t seem to understand why they are getting the results they are getting.
What can you do then, to find people who are seeking the same goals and upgrades you are?
Here’s my challenge to you this month:
First, always keep your eyes open for opportunities to meet and greet these awesome people who are seeking the same goals you are. Go to the areas where these people are.
If you are looking to upgrade your health, make friends at the gym. If you are looking for great relationships, find someone that has a relationship you’d like and become their friend. Find other traders, other entrepreneurs and associate with them. You don’t have to be best friends but being around them and listening to them during meetings, conferences, etc. will help you begin to associate with those people you want to upgrade with.
Now I know this almost sounds a little “stalk-ish” so, make sure you are contributing and not simply trying to attach and become an energy leach. Give more than you are getting. Be warm, be real, and be authentic. Remember to also help those that are just starting as you progress.
Another area that will allow you to upgrade yourself is to eliminate the negatives. The quickest upgrade here is to simply stop watching the news. Especially right before going to bed. Don’t fill yourself with all the negativity; all that seems to be wrong. If something is important, someone will tell you about it.
Second, if you find it difficult to meet people or join groups, go to your library. Read from the greatest people who can lift you up. Associate with them in your mind and you will begin to find yourself being upgraded.
I love listening to audio books especially for this reason. There is so much time I can associate with really successful and intelligent people through their audio books. I have to say, generally speaking, I get more positive impact from audio books than from the radio hearing a girl sing about how “my milkshake is better that hers.” Yep, I believe that what you watch on TV and what you listen to count as one of the people you associate with the most.
Until we believe in ourselves and develop our own “eagle” talents or make our dreams goals, we will be whatever other people tell us we are. We will be like those we associate with the most.
That is why you may have attended a seminar or event and then, reverted back to your old ways. That’s why I’m betting you dropped your New Year’s resolutions in February. It may be because of the 5 people you are associating the most with.
George Washington may have said it best.
“It is better to be alone than in bad company.”
Continually attract the people you want into your life. Be the kind of person they too want to associate with. Reinforce your dreams, desires and goals with support from those around you. You will effectively and quickly upgrade you life in ways you never imagined.